What’s in a word?
When I was growing and all through my teens we all said “see ya (you) later” it is part of the Lancashire dialect.
It is how you said farewell/goodbye/adieu – not just to family and friends, but to the girl at the checkout, the man on the bus, to our teachers to our bosses – everyone. It was a sign of endearment a way of reaching out to people.Then I did my degree and moved away – my “see ya later” was met by total confusion. Friends would ask “when did we arrange to meet?” checkout girls would be totally bemused. This phrase, my language, had a different meaning outside of my community. It was no longer a term of endearment/farewell, it only had a literal meaning – see you later – that is we had an appointment.
Reluctantly, I had to adapt, I had to change what I said in order to be understood and not to be mis-understood. Whatever words I used to say ‘goodbye’ lacked what I was trying to convey – but I was understood.
Some 25 years later I returned home – back to Lancashire. When the checkout girl said to me “see ya later” my whole body smiled – there is a sense of – I am back where I’m understood.
In every day life little mis-understandings like this happen frequently. Most of the time we can shrug them off – but sometimes they hit us hard – we become upset sometimes angry. Mediation can help unravel these emotions. In the joint session a skillful mediator will helps parties flush out different meanings to words, gestures and cultural norms – thus bringing a new level of understanding. Understanding the meaning behind such little things can have a huge impact on how the parties develop their relationship.
Do you have examples of mis-understood phrases from your local culture? If so I would love to hear about them – see ya later……